Moving On

Moving On - From North to South

A slightly more personal edge to this month’s mail out than usual as at the end of July, Sarah and I (and the kids) moved from Manchester back down to Winchester, where both of us grew up. The transition has been a long process and isn’t quite done yet as we stay with family before we move into our new place at the end of the year. I arrived in Manchester 16 years ago as a fresh faced music student embracing a new season of life. It took me a long time to feel settled and I never quite felt suited to academic life, avoiding spending too much time at uni by touring and recording with bands, making podcasts for record labels and spending time at home with dad whilst he was unwell. In the subsequent years I worked in music management, played drums with some of my best friends to huge audiences, managed a coffee house and explored my new passion of photography, which slowly overtook my aspirations to work in music and became both my job and main creative outlet. Taking pictures (on my old Ericsson camera phone to begin with), was my main means of assimilating with the city, mapping out its routes and side streets by walking everywhere and capturing my new surroundings. My work has evolved considerably since then, but I’ll always be grateful for the reason to explore somewhere new and take photographs, (something which I’ve done again recently when visiting Athens).

In coming south, we’re moving away from some great friends, some of who we met in the first few days up north 16 years ago. I’ve never taken for granted how valuable my good friends are and knowing that I won’t see people day-to-day has certainly been one of the hardest aspects of moving, but I’ve already got quite a few trips back up north planned to complete some ongoing projects, so we’re not going to be strangers! 

 For the rest of the month I’ll be doing my best to catch up with myself a bit. In the most part, I’ve been very glad at how well I’ve handled the transition. We’ve tried our best to spread out the moving and remove time pressures from the various elements of house selling/buying and starting school and jobs (although this isn’t completely avoidable), as I know that doing it all at once would have been overwhelming. During previous house moves, the anxiety has got the better of me, and I knew at the start of the year that I’d need to pace myself at certain times throughout this process. I’ve certainly not felt at full capacity at times, and I had a bit of a crash last week when it all caught up with me a bit and my body decided to shut down for a day or so. I’ve found that the psychological impact of something significant will manifest itself physically (our brains and bodies are far more connected than we think!), signifiers that I need to take things slow and lean on those around me a bit more, which isn’t always easy given how much they already do, but important for my wellbeing.

Even though the practicalities of moving are nearly complete, I will gladly allow the period of transition to our new surroundings be a slow one. Even though I’m as familiar with Winchester as anywhere I’ve ever known, it will take time to establish a new rhythm of life as the kids start school, Sarah a new job and we slowly find our way of calling Winchester home again. I’ve never been very good at taking it slow and need to satiate the urge to be busy, but a move like this is a chance to break from the previous structure of life and embrace new opportunities. Over the past few months I’ve been writing a list of ideas to try out, some of which I’ve wanted to do for a long time but never quite got to, others which feel more approachable in our new surroundings.

I’m glad that I’ll be able to continue my project work, for which I’m currently developing a couple of book edits, but it’s also a chance to re-approach my commercial work as I build relationships with new potential clients. I have a much firmer idea of the type of projects that I can apply myself to than ever before and I’m excited to embrace new challenges in a more rural environment as well as connecting with people in London and across the south.

For the next few weeks, I’ll give myself some space before I start trying to arrange meeting new people and taking on work by enjoying seeing old friends who I’ve not seen anywhere near enough of in recent times. September will see Tilly starting school and a chance to try out some of those ideas I’ve been scribbling down! 

This piece is taken from my August mailout, which also features Salvi Danes, Amar Kanwar and Erland Cooper.

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Encouragement

Engaging with others who work within the same professional field can often be be fraught with emotional insecurities. Judgements on perceived career success, doors that have been open to others (but not you) and for some reason in photography the tools which you use, all act as signifiers of success or stature. This, within an industry which perpetuates a need for hierarchy through competitions created by gatekeepers, doesn't aid the creative journey of the individual, steering photographers to make work that is similar to those who are deemed more successful. In a medium that is built around a subjective view portrayed through countless creative opportunities, the world of photography still perpetuates this idea of comparison, poisonous in our search for personal expression.

To some degree, I get it, we're all waiting for that pat on the back from someone (which I think I'm more aware of having lost my father as a student), a small acknowledgement that we're trying our best each day would be a powerful thing, but I think we can go looking for that in the wrong places.

Over the past few months I've been engaging with both mentoring those who are just starting out in photography and others who are just a few steps behind where I currently find myself. I've also been received mentoring from two wonderful photographers who are able to impart their experience and perspective on developing a photobook to me. I find all of these relationships hugely rewarding.

Through the summer I have been running a series of workshops with youth groups in East Manchester, putting a variety of cameras into the hands of kids who've never been able to try it out before. We've explored a themes including family, community, hopes, fears and their impression of Manchester itself. It's incredible to see how excited some of them are at getting to take pictures of their friends and surroundings and begin to express themselves through pictures. Seemingly the only thing holding them back from taking some remarkable photographs was the opportunity to hold a camera and some gentle encouragement from me.

As the weeks have gone by I feel I've got to know some of these kids well, partly through what we talk about, but also through the images that they're making. I've tried to be really intentional with encouraging each child to explore slightly further, engage with different subject matter and see the world in a new way. I want to affirm them and let them know that even if they've never been given the chance before, they can grasp something new and be creative. I can see the tangible sense of disappointment on their faces when I have to tell them that next week will be our last session, but it's my hope that the opportunity to hold a camera and my words will be enough for them to explore it more for themselves in the future.

We're currently in the process of arranging an exhibition of the work, which will be a very special occasion for the kids, to see their work on the walls of a gallery and know not only that they have created something that they can be proud of, but to share their view on the world with others. Beyond that, I may never know the impact that these sessions have had on the kids who've taken part, but it was a chance for me to positively influence their lives if only for a few weeks. Encouragement doesn't cost us anything, but it may be the assurance that someone else needs in order to take a step towards something new and important in their lives.

The mentoring that I both give and receive is within quite formalised settings, but opportunities to offer encouragement don't only have to happen within the constraints of professional engagement. (As the captain of a failing village football team many years ago, I always felt that I could never offer too much encouragement, even if we were 9-0 at half time). We all need a pat on the back sometimes and to know that someone is willing us on. That small word of encouragement can go so much further than you think.

This piece is taken from my July mailout, which also features Brian Dillon, Max Ferguson and Big Thief.

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Taking a chance and breaking out of my perceived constraints

Each time I embark on a new photography project requires a series of decisions that apply constraints to the way in which I’m going to make work. Without any constraints, the options for making each picture seem endless, so the parameters I set both consciously and unconsciously aid my decision making in the moment by essentially giving me less options. It’s a fresh opportunity to assess the way in which I’m working and allows me to consider the equipment I’m using, the location, subject matter and people involved. 

This process essentially eliminates many of the opportunity of chance affecting the images. It puts me in control and on an often a relatively narrow path to create what I’ve intended. This can be incredibly helpful when I’m working with people, having a structured process reduces the variables and the consistency can really aid the impact of the final set of images. The constraints also help when I’m trying to build a specific atmosphere within a body of work, particularly when editing and deciding which images to include and which images might lead the viewer away from my intended sentiments. 

Last November I took a trip to Athens to take part in some workshops run by Nearest Truth. My aim had been to get feedback on existing work from the tutors, Raymond Meeks, Adrianna Ault, Tim Carpenter and Gregory Halpern, which was extremely productive. 

Naturally, I began to explore the city with my camera, it felt disarming, run down and actually quite unsettling. It forced me away from my usual parameters of work, I had to push through the discomfort and embrace the chance to respond to what was in front of me, without any preconceived idea of what the pictures might look like. There is a risk to that. The pictures may well reveal more about yourself than you are normally willing to admit, but that is the point. I slowly scratched away those layers built up through years of socialisation, the shells created to protect myself from a world that demands so much and wants to hold us to higher standards than are actually possible. 

As the week went on, I found my flow, the pictures just seemed to happen so naturally, so much so that I went back in March to continue what I’d begun at the end of last year. The picture below is a great example of something I wouldn’t have even considered capturing at home. Technically it’s imperfect, but there’s a narrative within it which draws me in. I want to embrace that serendipity, the opportunity to step outside my psychological structures and see where it leads me.

This piece is taken from my June mailout, which also features Al Brydon, William Basinski and Grayson Perry.

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